The Birthday Suit
by jenlovesbones
Summary: Booth. A fancy suit. Or lack there of. Brennan and colloquialisms. It's a post-Hannah, 'Naked Booth' scenario in honor of GCatsPJ's birthday.


_**GreysistheCatsPajamas wanted an update on my other story for her birthday, but the next update is more case, less banter, and I thought a situation that had Booth, naked, post-Hannah might be a better kind of gift. Are there people out there who disagree with that? Didn't think so... : ) **_

_**I'm a little late in posting for her birthday, but go read one/all of her FIVE amazing and in-progress stories and send her a review to help make up for my tardiness! **_

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"Booth!"

Booth turned to find Angela calling his name, as she quickly walked toward him.

"You're already here?" Angela asked, catching up to him.

"Yep, I'm here. Haven't seen my partner all week, so I'm grabbing Bones for lunch. Know where she is?"

"Please tell me that you plan to grab her inappropriately and have your way with her?" Angela said with a smirk. Booth rolled his eyes, so she continued.

"I was just headed to my office to call you. Cam dragged Brennan into a meeting with the Jeffersonian's hob-snobs to discuss the lab's funding. She doesn't have her phone on her, so she couldn't call you to let you know," Angela filled him in.

"Hob-snobs? I know this is going to sound weird Ange, given that, well… but you might be spending too much time with your husband," Booth remarked sarcastically.

"Ha, ha, very funny," she deadpanned. "So, are you excited about tonight?"

Booth stared at her blankly.

Angela crossed her arms.

"Please tell me you haven't forgotten about tonight. Booth, Bren has been talking non-stop about this. Please tell me you haven't forgotten, cause so help me, I will call my father, and he will kick your FBI…"

"I haven't forgotten, I haven't forgotten anything," Booth said quickly, which caused Angela to stop mid-threat. He sighed in relief that he had avoided a Montenegro-style ass-kicking, until he remembered he had to lie to do so. He had no idea what she was talking about regarding tonight's plans.

"Here," she said, handing Booth a note. "Brennan said she put details about time and attire inside."

"Thanks," Booth said, eagerly opening the envelope to learn what he had forgotten about.

_Booth-_

_I'm still in this meeting with the Jeffersonian's board of directors and mistakenly left my phone in my office this morning. Sorry – otherwise I would have sent you a message to let you know I couldn't make it to lunch. _

_Stop worrying that I won't eat. Apparently, we may need to cut funding for the Medico-Legal Lab, but these obese dogs have plenty of money for a catered lunch. There are fewer than 20 people in this meeting and enough food to feed 50. _

Booth looked confused, before he realized her mistaken "fat-cats" reference.

_Regarding plans for this evening, please meet me at my office by 7 p.m., and our evening will begin from there. Regarding attire, I would recommend your birthday suit. _

Booth's tightened grip on the letter immediately, a gesture which Angela noticed. "What's wrong," she said, as she leaned toward him to read it.

"Nothing! Nothing," he said calmer the second time, as he hid the letter from Angela. He slowly unfolded it from his grasp, and finished the last couple of lines.

_I am happy you are back, and eagerly anticipating this evening's events. Tonight is an once-in-a-lifetime kind of occurrence. I hope you are looking forward to it as well. _

_See you soon,_

_-Bones_

How could he not remember what plans he and Bones had for tonight? Especially if it required his, uh, _birthday suit_. It _had_ been a long week, and he was pretty tired. Maybe they had made plans to get together_. _ Their new romantic relationship, as covert has it had been for a couple of months, was covert because they were taking things slow. Or so he thought. This note was obvious evidence that Brennan was planning to push up the time table regarding the progress of their relationship. Had he missed something in one of their conversations?

Booth cleared his throat when he realized Angela was still observing his behavior.

"Um… so yeah. Tonight. Okay. Got the note."

"Booth?"

"Yes, Angela."

"What's wrong with you? You're all flush and you're sweating a little bit at your brow," she said as she reached for said brow line.

"Nothing's wrong with me," he said defensively, stepping back from her.

Angela quirked an eyebrow, demanding more explanation. "You will show up tonight, right?"

"How much do you know about tonight, Ange?" he asked.

"Same thing you know. Brennan hasn't stopped talking about tonight all week. It's kind of fun, to see her get this excited about something that isn't bones or dead people."

"So she told you all about _our_ plans?"

"Yep, every last detail," Angela nodded.

"And, Bones, she's pretty excited about it?" Booth asked nervously.

"Yes," Angela answered, looking at him like she may need to talk slower to this special, special boy. "I'm going to go back to work now. You sure you're okay, Booth?"

His "yeah" came out an octave too high and Angela noticed. But she let it go.

"Oooookay," she said, still speaking slowly. She finished with "See you later," as she turned and left him standing in the middle of the lab.

He'd been gone just a week, and Bones had outed their relationship to the entire lab. Not to mention, she was apparently pretty excited about getting him alone in the lab tonight. He didn't know whether to be pissed or excited about the night ahead.

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**-*B*B*-**

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**6:52 pm**

He was finally to the steps of the Jeffersonian after he spent time pacing up and down the Mall. At 4 pm, when he officially concluded that sitting in his office and waiting for 7 pm to roll around was going to make him crazy, he went to the firing range. When he was done there, he went to the gym. Then he showered. Then he showered again, the water a little colder the second time around.

And now, he was at the steps of the Jeffersonian. Steps he regularly bounded up and down on his way in and out to see his partner. And while his body wanted to jog quickly up those stairs, his nervous mind insisted it be a slower, more restrained climb. Taking a deep breath as he reached the door, he walked in, trying to exude confidence in a decidedly nerve-wracking situation.

**6:55 pm**

He walked into her office and whispered her name. "Bones. Bones are you here?"

Without knowing what kind of seduction techniques she had in mind, if she had any at all, he nervously tip-toed into her dark office, and scanned the room for her. He made his way to the light switch, but changed his mind at the last moment. If he was going to follow her instructions, he would do so in the dark.

**6:57 pm**

He'd loosened everything at this point. His jacket was off. His Cocky belt buckle, with belt, lay on top of it. His shirt was unbuttoned, and clinging to his shoulders like a last-attempt at sanity. He unstrapped his ankle holster, realizing he forgot to leave one gun in the car. He placed it on a high shelf, out of sight. And in doing so, he finally took a step out of his pants, which he now had pooled around his ankles. Being naked and exposed never had him feeling so nervous. He should redress. He should put an end to this nonsense, and have a normal discussion like fully-dressed adults should about Bones' plans for tonight. But the less sensible part of him was only debating how long it would be until she arrived, while taking his boxers off.

**6:58 pm**

_This is crazy,_ he thought. He started redressing.

**6:59 pm**

He reconsiders.

**7:00 pm**

Now standing in his formal birthday suit, he folded his clothes into a neat pile. And quickly unfolded and refolded them again.

**7:01 pm**

He now stood facing her door, with his hands strategically placed for a PG-13 rating.

**7:02 pm**

He brought one foot up on her table, and considered the Greek God pose.

**7:02 pm and 30 seconds**

_The Heisman pose? Nah…_

**7:03 pm**

He opted to sit on her couch and wait. With one of the pillows from the couch guarding all things his puritan Catholic modesty told him he should cover.

**7:03 pm and 30 seconds**

He started to dress again. And undress again.

**7:04 pm**

As he walked away from the pile of his clothes, yet again, he finally heard the click of high heels.

And more than one set of heels.

Several sets of heels actually. And Angela's voice. Moving closer to Brennan's office.

_Shit._

He ducked behind her couch, crawling into the fetal position, taking the pillow with him. He inhaled and held his breath.

**7:05 pm**

"…known on nights like tonight, the constellation Delphinius, as well as nearby star sets, are most visible. It really should be quite a sight," Brennan said to the women following her, as she turned on the lights to her office.

"Where's Booth? I thought he was supposed to meet us here at seven?" Cam asked.

"Angela, did you give him my note?" Brennan asked.

"Yes, I even watched him read it. Though I do suspect that he forgot about tonight until I reminded him," Angela commented.

"You don't think he's not coming, do you?" Brennan asked, while picking up her phone's receiver and dialing.

Sadly, without pockets, Booth's phone sat with his pile of clothes. And rang in that pile of clothes. And brought everyone's attention to the phone ringing in that pile of clothes, neatly stacked on Brennan's coffee table, lacking an FBI agent to wear them.

"What the hell?" Angela inquired, as Cam went over to examine the phone.

Booth had been holding out hope that if the women stayed far enough away, he might be able to get out of this without anyone noticing. But a big, strong, handsome, and at the moment, very naked FBI agent lurking behind the cover of a relatively small couch was a tough thing to hide. So Booth wasn't that surprised when he heard Cam gasp.

"Oh my God!" she shrieked in a voice befitting Angela, and ran from the couch toward the door, covering her eyes along the way.

Brennan's investigative instincts had naturally turned on, so as Cam had gone for the phone, Brennan had also worked her way from her desk to couch. And while Cam had shrieked, and moved quickly away from the couch, Brennan only went closer to investigate.

"Booth?" Brennan required, now hovering over her naked partner. "Why are you naked? And hiding beside my couch?"

"Hi Bones," Booth squeaked. Then, Angela and Cam burst out laughing.

"Booth," Brennan said, with a tone that couldn't quite hide her amusement. "Why. Are you naked. In my office?"

"It's a misunderstanding. Definitely a misunderstanding," he muttered as he closed his eyes and willed the women in the room to stop laughing. When he opened him, he found his partner kneeling next to him.

"What kind of misunderstanding leads to nudity? Are you feeling well?" she asked as she put the back of her hand to his forehead.

"I'm fine, Bones. I really just need a little privacy, so I can get dressed. Please?" nodding toward the women, still laughing, at the other end of the room.

Brennan sighed at his lack of explanation, and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. "Lean forward," she instructed.

He looked at her like she was crazy, until he realized her intent of covering him with the blanket. As she brought the blanket around him, he released the pillow and stood up.

Angela and Cam were still giggling furiously.

"Would you ladies mind, ya know," he nodded toward the doorway.

"Nope, you're not bothering us. Don't mind at all," Cam laughed.

"I love my husband, but I wouldn't miss the chance that _that_ blanket falls off for anything," Angela said, wearing the world's largest grin.

"You really have nothing to be ashamed of Booth. You're very well-structured. Although, I have to wonder if you've changed physically since your relationship with Cam, because when she saw you, she screamed." Brennan turned toward Cam. "Is there something vastly different about Booth's physique that surprised you?"

"Just the lack of coverage of… said… physique," Cam muttered through her laughter.

"So, Booth. Why are you naked, in Bren's office?" Angela asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, that is a question I am interested in knowing an answer to as well," Brennan added.

Booth sighed. "I got your note," he whispered.

"Yes, the one where I specifically told you what to wear," Brennan responded.

"Yes, you told me to wear my _birthday suit,_" he whispered loud enough for the other women to hear and begin laughing again.

"Yes, that Armani suit I bought you for the last Jeffersonian formal. The one you didn't want me to pay for, even though you were getting the new suit because I asked you to come to that event, so I told you to consider it your birthday gift."

Cam and Angela were gasping for air as their laughter had stolen their breath.

"That's not what "birthday suit" means, Bones."

"I don't understand. It's a suit I bought you for your birthday. How does that translate into you sitting in my office naked?"

Angela jumped in. "Sweetie, _birthday suit_ is a term people use to refer to getting naked. You know, cause you're born naked."

"Really?" Brennan asked. Angela nodded. "You know, in college, I dated a fellow student who kept claiming that on our third date, he was going to 'show me his birthday suit.' I found him to be kind of shallow, always needing to bring up his special 'suit' that he couldn't wait to wear. And on our third date, he wore jeans instead. I was really confused as to why he made such a big deal out of it, but never actually wore the suit."

"Did he, you know, get naked for you?" Angela asked.

"Later that night, he did, in fact. But… uh… let's just say he did not possess the kind of male physique worth bragging about. I may have laughed a little when I saw him, and our date ended about a minute after that."

Everyone in the room, Booth and Brennan included, were laughing by the end of her story.

"Booth, were you really prepared to attend a regatta in the nude?" Brennan asked, turning her attention back to her nudist partner.

"What regatta?" Booth asked.

"Booth, we're all dressed up to go to a party," she said, indicating the attire of herself and the other women. "A rather formal party. Although, I don't quite understand why they call it a regatta, because technically, that implies a boat race. This is just a party on a boat. A party that, if you don't change quickly, you'll make us late for. And if we don't get there before the boat leaves, we don't get to go to the party."

He continued to look at Brennan, like he was trying to scan her mind for some memory of what tonight's event was.

"It's a Jeffersonian-mandated function, Booth," Angela chimed in. "The new board of director's daughter, Colleen, is having a birthday regatta, and Jeffersonian employees above an assistant level are required to attend."

"Why would I want to go this woman's birthday party?" Booth asked, genuinely confused.

"Cause it's a regatta. And it's all paid for. And Colleen's actually not bad. She's like Hodgins. Has a ton of money, but doesn't show it. The party's not her idea of a good time either. Although, I'm betting she'd have a _very_ happy birthday if you showed up in your 'birthday suit.'" Angela said with a wink.

"I don't know about the naked part, but there's also a meteor shower tonight, and being a good distance away from the city on the Potomac will allow for an excellent view of event," Brennan added excitedly.

"I… I… I'm sorry, Bones, but I have no memory of the event."

"It was four weeks ago, we were finishing the paperwork on the pajama murders. It was a Sunday afternoon."

"The serial killer who always wore grey pajamas to kill his victim, and then left them behind, without any DNA evidence on them, somehow," Booth added, nodding in remembrance.

"Yes, except for the cat hairs that we were able to ID as belonging to one of our suspect's cat. And Cam called while we were finishing the paperwork, and I told you about this event, and you said 'Sure, I'll be there.'"

Booth continued to look at her with a blank stare. "Booth, I told you about this," Brennan insisted.

He tilted his head to the side, and asked "Was there any chance there was a Steelers' game on the television when you _told me _about this?"

"I believe there was some sort of sporting event on the television at the time. Why?"

"Because he wasn't actually listening to you, Bren. He was focused on the game." Angela answered.

"Oh. That explains why your portion of the paperwork took eight hours and was poorly done. You weren't paying attention." Brennan nodded, now understanding the events of that afternoon.

"I did pay attention to the paperwork," Booth said defensively. "You know, after the game. But you can't talk to me _while_ the game is on and expect me to remember these things. And my paperwork was not _poorly done,_ either."

Cam piped up. "As much fun as this is, guys, the car's waiting for us outside, and we are going to be late."

"Yes, of course." Brennan said. She picked up Booth's clothes and handed them to him.

"Please, would you two leave, so I can get dressed?" a barely blanket-wrapped Booth asked of Angela and Cam.

"Wait, how come Brennan gets to stay and watch G-man change?" Angela whined.

"Come on Angela." Cam said, pulling her to the door.

"Not a sexless marriage, my ass," Angela muttered as she moved out of sight.

Booth turned to face Brennan. "Sorry I forgot, Bones," he said sheepishly.

"I would also think you'd be sorry for sitting in my office, the place I work, naked, as well. But we can discuss that after you get dressed." She gestured to her bathroom, and Booth went to change.

As he came back out, fully-dressed this time, Brennan walked to the door to turn off the lights. As he was walking in-step behind her, she suddenly turned to face him, resulting in their bodies crashing together.

"Booth," Brennan said, in a sultry tone.

Booth swallowed hard before answering, "Yes."

She reached up to adjust his tie as she spoke. "I sent you a note, in which you presumed I asked you to be naked and waiting in my office this evening."

"Hmm mmm," he murmured.

"That's very interesting. If you're really willing to get naked on command, I think I'm really going to enjoy some of our future 'formal' events." She patted his tie, turned, and walked out of her office.

Embarrassed as he might be regarding tonight's events, Seeley Booth was sure his birthday suit was about to become his favorite formal wear.

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**-*B*B*-**


End file.
